I finally heard from the doctor's office at 10:30 (they called in on another line after I had been sitting on hold with their office for about 2 minutes). My doctor had conferred with two other doctor's in the practice and they decided that although my numbers are not doing exactly what they would like, they're low enough. And they're moving in the downward direction. I did not have to have more methotrexate today. Yay!!!!
As soon as they told me this, I asked if they would have the doctor call in something for my nerves. Before I got serious with my TTC journey, I was on medication for anxiety. Up until this part of my journey, I have managed to keep my anxiety at bay. Not now. The roller coaster that I have been on is too much.
I have found myself on the verge of a pretty nasty cliff the past week. At the bottom of this cliff is a lot of nasty emotions. Emotions that I have managed to move past. Emotions that are not even real...they're reactions to unrealistic views that I had years ago. I do not want to go off this cliff and I will not go off this cliff.
So hopefully this roller coaster is coming to an end. Hopefully my numbers will continue to drop at a decent rate. Hopefully a few xa.nax are all I need to keep me sane until I manage to sort through all of this in my mind.
And there's always tomorrow! And tomorrow can always be something better than today!!!
7 comments:
I am so glad that you do not have to endure yet another shot! You are right .. tomorrow always has possiblies!
I am glad no more methotrex for you.
Hang in there, scary emotions will happen with this stuff, the important thing is how you approach it. ANd your attitude is great!
J
YAY for no more methotrexate! So sorry about the anxiety and I hope they are able to give you something to help. Hugs to you.
It is so good to hear that you were FINALLY able to stop the medication, and you should be commended for being such a great self advocate!
i'm so glad that to hear you don't have to take any more methotrexate! and i'm glad you asked for help with the anxiety... these last couple of weeks have been so tough!
Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I hope the numbers go down. And things get better.
So glad to hear you don't need another awful shot! You have a great outlook on things and I really hope that you can move onward and upward quickly :)
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