I know the fat lady has not sung

But I hear her warming up.

It's CD15 and there's not so much as a glimmer of a high reading on my CBEFM. 

Even though last month was anovulatory, at least I know my ovaries were trying.  Beginning around CD11 or 12 I got high readings.  The month before I had high readings beginning somewhere around the same time and I got a peak reading on CD17.  July, August, and September I ovulated on CD15 (at least that's when I got my LH surge) according to my OPKs. 

I have 5 more days left before hope gets kicked out the door.  If nothing has shown up on the monitor or the OPK strips (I'm using those in the afternoon), then I'll call the doctor and demand the testing that I should have demanded a long time ago.  It looks like I'll finally be taking some sort of action. 

I cried in the bathroom at church today when it hit me that this was my last month of all natural trying.  I know the next step will probably only entail a lot of tests and Clomid, but that's more than I was ready for.  Maybe that's why I've waited so long to make the call.

5 more days.  I'd really like a miracle, now, thank you.

New day, new year, new attitude

I gotta new attitude!



It's now day 2 of 2008.  I survived.  I lived through 2007 and all that it brought with it.  Now don't get me wrong, 2007 rocked in many ways!  Of course, nothing sticks out in my mind but the BFP...that didn't quite end the way I wanted it to, though.

 So now it's a new year full of renewed hopes!  I am very hopeful that I will be able to obtain and maintain a healthy pregnancy this year.  I am very hopeful that things will be better than last year.  I am very hopeful that I will have the strength to endure if things do not go exactly as I'd like them to.  I am hopeful!!!

Now onto IF.  CD36?  Hello?  AF?  Are you out there?  Please come and visit for a few days.  I know you're not being held at bay by a pregnancy, so let's do this! 

Speaking of growing things...the cyst that I'm positive I've got growing on my ovary is driving me nuts!  It did its best to ruin New Year's Eve, but Mr. W wouldn't allow that!  Let's just say that s.e.x and cysts don't get along too well.  And would someone please remind me to quit plopping down into chairs and couches?!?!  That is highly uncomfortable!

My plan for the rest of the week...call the doc if AF hasn't shown up by Friday morning.  Either I'll go in for a scan to check on this cyst and get some pro.vera or they'll just call in some pro.vera for me.  Those are the only options I'll take.  I mean how many HPTs can I ruin before AF will start?  (the count so far is about 5.)

 I hope everyone has great plans and hopes for the new year!  Good luck!!

PS  The party was quite fun!  We didn't stay for midnight, which worked out well.  We got home before I got too drunk and had our New Year's kiss in our living room.  :-)

Keeping my head up

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/xLd22ha_-VU&rel=1]

So I'm now positive that this cycle was anovulatory.  It's CD31 and I never received a peak reading on my CBEFM.  I also feel like I'm smuggling a water balloon in my abdomen.  I'm pretty sure where I should have released an egg, I've developed a cyst.  It's been about 10 or so years since I've had one that I noticed, but I'm noticing something now.  I've had this constant discomfort/pain in the general ovary area for a few days.  This morning it decided to become as annoying as being felt every step I took.  Yay me.

I won't lie.  I started this post this morning in one hell of a nasty mood.  Since then I've eaten my favorite dish (massaman curry chicken), had a mild workout (first in months), and eaten a miniature ice-cream candy bar.  I've read some blogs; I've (virtually) cried on a friend's shoulder and gotten a (virtual) hug.  I feel much better.  Although I'm still upset that this month has ended on a down note, it's almost over.  Only a few days away from a new year full of new months and new opportunity!

Plus, who can't help but laugh with this video?  I mean, can you understand what he's reallysaying?  Hahahahaha!

CD19

WTF? CD19? It should be 4DPO, but it's not. It's CD19 and the monitor still shows high fertility. (I read through the instruction pamphlet again and it said that if there was no peak fertility it would read high fertility "until the end of the testing cycle".

Now here's where I'm being positive: I think I possibled effed up a few test sticks. I don't actually pee on the sticks, I pee in a cup and dip them. You're supposed to hold them in the pee for 15 seconds, and I only did it for 10 seconds. I suppose the sticks may have not absorbed enough liquid. And if this is so, then I'm ok. (i'm ok i'm ok i'm ok i'm ok) I had already accepted that Mr. W would be out of town for ovulation and this month would be a break cycle. So it's a break cycle.

Now I just wait to see when AF shows up. She should be here between Christmas and 12/28. Now if only I could get these anovulatory thoughts out of my head (trust me, they don't dance like sugar plums).