How could I leave that out?

I spent a while the other night reading through all of my posts beginning with the BFP that resulted in my boys.  I cried just remembering seeing the first positive, the first time we saw anything on the ultrasound screen, the first time we saw their heartbeats, finding out they were boys.  What a journey it was.

But I left so much out!  I wrote about how wonderful Mr. W was.  I wrote about how sick I stayed.  I wrote about feeling the boys move.  But I still left so much out!

I wrote about my oily skin and acne, but didn't mention how it all cleared up and how I had the most beautiful skin in the world for the rest of my pregnancy.  I wrote about my nausea (which did not leave me until birth), but didn't really explain that towards the end it was pretty manageable. 

I wrote about the doctor saying that one sac wasn't viable, but didn't mention that she told me this at two ultrasounds.  I wrote about seeing their two beautiful heartbeats, but didn't mention that the doctor told me to not get my hopes up too much about twins since there was still a good chance that "Baby B" wouldn't make it (he was in the "non viable" sac. 

I cried the other night when I thought about this.  I looked at the baby in my arms, "Baby A", and hugged him a little tighter.  I turned to Mr. W and told him he was holding "Baby B", the one that wasn't "viable".  He loved on him a little more.  We are so blessed.

What we have here is a failure to communicate

Or at least my bladder is failing to communicate.  This isn't a recently developed issue, but it's recently become a pain in my ass.  The only thing I can figure is that the years of too-many-to-count UTIs have done some damage to whatever sensors tell me when I have to go.  I only begin to feel that gotta-go sensation about the same time as I feel pain in my kidneys and nausea.  (if you don't know what I'm talking about then just don't go to the bathroom for an hour or so after you get the gotta-go feeling.)

Now that I'm carrying a little extra in the uterus area I'm adding cramps to the list of sensations that make me realized I need to go.  My vague concern is that in another trimester I'll have to wear depends.  I can giggle about this now...

Any suggestions anyone?

peek-a-boo?

Unfortunately it was a little too early to even see a sac.  I figured it would be, but the doc wanted to try.  I'm scheduled to go back next Thursday morning.  Mr. W will be back so he can go too.  Yay!

The doc did get a good view of my lining and ovaries which all look pretty good.  My ovaries still have some action going on, but nothing they weren't expecting after the Clomid.  My lining...I'm so proud of her.  She's at 25mm.  :-)

The doc said my numbers all look great for right now so she's pleased.  And my CD21 progesterone seemed to have her a little excited.  She said she hadn't seen that high of a progesterone before (30.9).

All in all my body seems to be doing what I've wanted it to do for so long.  And I am tickled pink!  (No really, I'm pretty pink lately.  All this excitement and extra blood flow has my skin quite flushed.)

I still barely have any symptoms, but it doesn't bother me.  I think I'm beginning to get a little morning sickness; I'm very tired; I've got a little extra acne.  That's about it.  Oh, wait!  I've got a road map on my boobs.  Ha!

Buzzing! (updated)

Yes, I'm buzzing on life right now!

14DPO beta = 344
16DPO beta = 797

That's a doubling time of 38 hours!  Hooray!

 

Now I wait until my u/s tomorrow to make sure it's all in the right place!  :-)

I love them!!!

This morning I left a very calm (as calm as I can be) message for my nurse.  I told her that I have 5 days of positive pee sticks and need to know what they want me to do now.  Then I picked up my phone and stared at it for the next few hours waited patiently.  Right at the end of my lunch break I got a phone call back.

I have "homework".  They faxed me two orders for betas and scheduled me for an U/S on Thursday!!!!!!  I was determined that I was going to be the model of a patient patient when I left that message this morning.  But they're pampering me!!!

Now I know this is all due to my BCMEP.  They want to make sure that everything is where it should be and doing what it should do.  I'm sure that at best I'll be able to see a sac on Friday, and that is perfect!

So now I sit in my blissful state and wait until I get a call back about my first beta.  I have little doubt that a call won't come and that I'll have to wait until Thursday...but I'm OK with that.  I really am.  Because I get to see what's going on in there on Thursday.  :-) 

I. Am. So. Happy.

Feeling More Confident!

Thank you all for your well wishes and thoughts and prayers yesterday!

The spotting (which was very mild to begin with) seems to have gone away for the past 24 hours.  :-)  The cramping seems to have changed a little.  They don't feel like light AF cramps anymore; they feel like something going on, but not like cramps.  I know that makes no sense but there you have it. 

The sense of peace that I have is wonderful.  I know that it's super early and anything can happen...but that doesn't mean it will.  I just need to remember that for the next 9 weeks.  Because it's been explained to me by friends and family (and the family member shares my OB/Gyn) that I probably won't get an U/S until 13 weeks.  Ouch.  But I'll be OK.  I'll be even better if I can convince my doctor to give me an 8 week U/S to see the heartbeat.  Who knows, I can be awfully annoying when I need to be!

I have to call the office in the morning and see what I have to do.  I honestly don't know if they will want to do a blood test or not.  I'm not going to push for one (OMG?!?!  SHE'S NOT GOING TO DEMAND A BETA?!?!  AMANDA???  REALLY?!?!).  But I need to let them know about my handful of positive tests and get on the schedule and nicely ask for an 8 week U/S.  :-D

13 DPO (this pic and the 11 DPO pic were actually taken in different states.
check out the matching tables!  ewe!)

12 DPO

11DPO

10 DPO - Very Faint Second Line
This pic was taken later that afternoon.
I had to let it dry enough to be able to photograph the line.

I'm a little nervous

10 DPO - Very Faint Second Line
This pic was taken later that afternoon.
I had to let it dry enough to be able to photograph the line.

11DPO - Not as faint, but still not too dark second line.
This pic was taken within the 10 minute read time.

12 DPO - the digital came up in one minute!
The FRER started coming up as soon as the urine ran across it.
This pic was taken within the 10 minute read time, too.

The reason I'm nervous is because I'm only 12DPO.  This can still be chemical, right?  And I've started a little cramping and the tiniest of brown spotting.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a nervous wreck.  I'm nothing like I was with my last BFP.  Though it doesn't help that my primary doctor gave me an antibiotic and antihistamine for this nasty sinus infection the day before I got my first view of a second line this month...and he says that it's OK for pregnancy...but I told him I was only TTC at the moment, not pregnant, yet (and the paperwork said it isn't...but it's Class B).  I think I'll stop by the pharmacy today and double check on my way out of town.

So please, any prayers, good thoughts, etc are very much desired at the moment.  I'm not confident about this at least until I've past the date AF is due.  Then maybe I'll feel a little safer.  But at least I got these lines before 16 DPO like last time!  :-)

Thank you...and...

First and formost, Thank you so much to all of the wonderful ladies that commented on my blog yesterday! You're assurances helped relieve my worries!!! I can never truly express how grateful I am to you each!!!!



Now onto another pic. This time I decided the lines could kiss my butt! I went digital!

I also got the blood test results back from my OB/Gyn. Of course it was positive...but they only did a qualitative test! Ugh! Since I haven't ever been pregnant they see no need to do a quantitative. I mean I'm a 30 year old female with PCOS who has never managed to get pregnant (and not because I'm Mrs. Protection). Why should I have any concern? I'm trying to relax...but we all know how that goes.

I've decided to go with it. Enjoy it for what it is right now! So for now...I'm pregnant!!! :-)