Forgive my tardiness

I should have posted sooner, but I didn't. I could give all the excuses I've been making (I'm tired...I'm down...I don't feel like it...blah blah blah) but as I like to say, they're still only excuses. At least I finally got myself around to it.

I went to get my blood drawn for my final beta on Tuesday at lunch. Right after I signed in, I noticed I had a voicemail and missed call from my Ob/Gyn. Of course I checked the message immediately; after all, they did a biopsy the day before. The message was an urgent call from the nurse to come in immediately and to not "take no from the clowns up front".

I called them back and told them I was having my blood drawn. The nurse debated with herself, out loud, about whether or not to have a stat put on the blood order, but declined in the end. She told me to come in as soon as I was done.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you lovely people how terrified I was. Now why I was terrified was probably a little iffy, though. Here's where the fear came in:

• I learned a few months back that women with PCOS have an increased risk of endometrial cancer. Not a big deal, my lining looked wonderful on a CD3 scan.
• I had recently read on wikipedia that HCG can sometimes be put off by tumors. That's no big deal. I miscarried.
• I was scheduled for the endometrial biopsy. No big deal, just checking for pregnancy tissue.
• I get a call from my nurse telling me to come in immediately.

OMG, DO I HAVE CANCER?!?!?!?! Suddenly all the information in my head collided into a horrible non-pregnancy growth.

I called my husband, but of course he was caught up in work and could not come with me. (that will be a later post when I decide to deal with the emotions about that bull) Luckily my sister was available. As soon as they were done taking my blood, I was at the doc's.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my doctor. Her office, not so much. They didn't know why I was there. I told them an u/s. OK. The u/s tech came in (now my favorite u/s tech, ever) and she doesn't know what they're doing an u/s for. Apparently since my doc isn't in, and wasn't in the day before, no one knows what's going on (didn't they call me?). After I explain my BFP, miscarriage, doubling beta, non-lowering beta, & biopsy she tells me to empty my bladder and hop onto the table. She does a detailed scan and actually explains everything she's looking at!!! She sees nothing. Is this good? I don't know. What does this mean? I don't know.

***TANGENT***

My sister asked me if I've ever met the doctor that I'll be seeing today. Here's my response: Nope. Never met him. Luckily I have no modesty. Ha! I didn't know the doc I saw yesterday, either. Nothing like meeting someone for the first time for something like this. "Hey! Nice to meet you! Care to peer between my legs?" Ah....reminds me of the good ol' days! Hahahaha!

***BACK TO THE STORY***

So Sis and I are put in a room to wait for the doctor. Some nurse tries to get me to "undress from the waist down" but I politely decline. I'm not stripping until I get at least a little bit of an explanation as to what's going on.

So Mr. Doctor comes in and babbles about some things. He doesn't tell me anything I don't know. As a matter of fact, I tell him things he doesn't know. Such as what my numbers were on what dates. And the fact that I supposedly miscarried on 09/21 seems to have not even made it to my file, yet. He tells me that we have to wait for "30 minutes" until they get my most recent tests back. By this time I'm angry(ier) and my Sis (big-sis) is pretty darn mad that I'm getting jerked around. We're not leaving the office until we get some answers!

An hour and fifteen minutes later he comes back in. He explains that the biopsy found nothing. Nothing? After I ask, he explains that that's not good. Apparently he's of the opinion that if there's no tissue in the uterus, then there's tissue in the tubes. Although nothing is visible on the scan, he's still convinced there's something in the tubes. My beta had gone from 113 on Sunday to 92 on Tuesday. While I'm happy with an 18% drop, he is not. He's seen a tube rupture with an HCG of 50. I'm not so sure, but I want an end to all of this, so I'll go with it. Err on the side of paranoia.

3 1/2 hours after I arrive at the office, I'm sent off with a script for Methotrexate. I haul ass down the road (mind you it's 4:30. can you say traffic) to the closest pharmacy that carries it and haul ass back. They take the meds, load it up, and shoot me up in both hips with the neon yellow stuff. They try to escort me back to the waiting room for a few minutes before they'll let me leave, but I decline. I really would like to talk to the doctor about what just happened. The nurse shot me up, but the doc never explained crap about what was going to happen, except to tell me that I would need follow up blood work in 4 and 7 days. I'm escorted to another room and the husband and the doctor walk in at the same time (NO...NOT better late than never). The doc says no sex for two weeks...no unprotected sex for two months (he claims it could result in ectopic...the pamphlet for the meds says it could result in bad things for products of conception). I remind the nurse that I need orders for blood work and the doc says to come back in a week.

So now I'm supposedly on the road to recovery with the end in sight. I scheduled my follow up (after explaining to the scheduling nurse that there is no point in coming in the day I have my last blood draw because they won't have the results)

***TANGENT***

The nurse ushers me into her little room and closes the door. The two glowing needles are sitting on her table. She tells me she's going to give me a shot in both "hips". I have NEVER had a shot in the hip when a nurse has said "hip". It's always been in the butt-cheek. I ask if I should drop 'em and bare it. She says, yes. I proceed to turn around and drop my pants. Luckily I've got on butt-floss so there's no need to drop those to bare a cheek.

The nurse proceeds to swab...can you guess it?...MY HIP!!! I really mean my hip! I was shocked!!! I asked her about it and her response was, "What did you think I meant by hip?"

I explained that the doctor had said the shot would be in the buttock and the pamphlet said the shot would be in the buttock and that I'd never had a nurse say hip and not mean buttock. She said that she always gave them in the hip.

So, I told her she didn't need to see my butt and I pulled up my pants!

At least we both got a laugh out of that one...even if it was at my expense.

***BACK TO STORY***

So that's what's happened. There's a lot of emotion about all of the events of the past three weeks (and one day, but who's counting). I just can't fit it in right now.