Help!!!

I need help. Trip won't. quit. biting. Poor Jack screams at bedtime and naptime. I'm pretty sure it's because Trip tortures him after we go downstairs*. If Jaws doesn't want to go to sleep (or wants out of his room) he bites Jack. I counted 10 bite marks on Jack after nap today. 10.

We've tried explaining this is bad and hurts. We've scolded. We've bit him back. We've popped his mouth. We've tried time-out. We've tried combinations of these things. We're at our wits end!!!

I'd appreciate any advice, suggestions, stories you have to offer. Please! Our last option is to move Jack into the nursery and out of his room with Trip. I don't think this is a really valid option since a) there will be a newborn in there before I know it and b) we've never been able to get them to sleep if they're not in the room together.

*Any time I hear Jack start with his "I've been attacked" scream, I head back into their room. I don't just leave him. I always tell them both to stay in bed and NO BITING before I leave the room.

Asking for input

So the time has come to make a decision on birth control.  Good God I never thought I'd blog about birth control.  But here I am.  And now I'm left with very few choices.

Let me go ahead and get the cannots out of the way.
I cannot use:

1. Anything with latex.


2. Diaphragm.  I did use one for almost a year and it was the cause of many UTIs.  Something about it bruising my urethra.


3. Any spermicides.  They irritate me just a little and irritate Mr. W a lot.


4. Almost anything hormonal.  I'm emotional anyway and with the added hormones...evil raging crying bitch comes to mind.


5. NuvaRing.  Loved it, but it my body didn't.  Think yeast infection without the itch.  Bleh!  Mr. W wasn't too fond of it, though...felt it too much.

So right now we're planning on Mr. W having a vasectomy sometime late this year or early 2010 (that was weird to type...2010).  Until then we've got to play it safe somehow.  We're going to try a non-latex condom that I've heard good things about (LifeStyles Skyn).

I'm interested in an IUD, but I have a couple of concerns.  I'd like any input on IUDs that anyone can offer.  Stories, opinions, anything!  Almost everyone I know that's had one says it was the best form of birth control.  My one concern is the fact that one version is hormonal and I'm not big on anything hormonal and my other concern is that it doesn't always prevent fertilization, just implantation (right?).

Any suggestions, stories, ideas are welcome!

You don't say?

I went to visit my family and old friends this weekend. I had a really good time, aside from losing my voice again. It was very relaxing to hang out at my parents house and pretty much do nothing.

I've had a friend, we'll call her B, for about 12 years. B and I have always been on opposite ends of the personality spectrum. She's the most liberal person I've met; as time has passed, I've become more conservative. She's vegan; I'm a hard core carnivore. She's single raising an unplanned child; I'm married struggling through infertility. There are many more differences and until recently they have not affected our friendship.

Over the past few months, anytime I've needed to vent about almost anything, I've had to go elsewhere for support. I have not been able to talk to B about it. It's broken my heart, but what can I do. If I need to vent about Mr. W (I know, he's wonderful, but even perfection gets on your nerves some times), she retorts that at least I have someone. If I need to vent about all of the constant construction in my home, she retorts that at least we can afford to own a house and work on it. If I need to vent about anything, she has some sort of comment about how I should basically just suck it up.

Now don't get me wrong, I am supremely grateful for all of the wonderful things I have in my life. Especially for Mr. W and my family. I am lucky, and I am very aware of this. But does this mean I am not allowed to ever be unhappy? Am I not allowed to have bad days? Am I not allowed to get angry at my husband?

I've been trying to work past all of my feelings about her lack of support and was doing pretty good. But this weekend kind of sealed the bitter deal for me. I heard her say, many times, that I need to "relax". I need to see/read "The Secret". I need to put out my good energy and then I'll get pregnant. Give me a fucking break! I wasn't even asking for assvice. I was simply telling the woman that is supposed to be my best friend that Mr. W and I are trying to have a faith in God and nature for 3 more months, and that I'm excited about this. I'm doing my best to have faith and not plan for after March. And in retort I'm told that I'm too negative and that if I relax and watch a freaking movie that I'll be fine. Fuck you.

Why is it that the almost 3 years that Mr. W and I were screwing like rabbits, not using birth control of any sort, and not "wanting" a baby don't count? Neither my sister or B actually acknowledge that time. They still want to say, "relax and it will happen" as if those years weren't relaxing.

So now I guess I need to just put a little more positive energy out there and relax. Because as we all know that's how babies are made.

Stupid Things People Say

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me for the past few days. It has meant more than I can express to know I'm in your thoughts and prayers. It truly has helped to not be "alone" in this. Thank you. From the bottom of my broken heart, thank you.

This is a work in progress. And please, remember I'm angry and don't have anything/one to be angry with, so I may as well take it out on the unsuspecting friends/family members that just don't get it. I know it's not their fault.

Since Friday I have realized, even more so, the difference between the IF community and the non-IF world. It's amazing some of the things that people say to you that they somehow imagine to be comforting. Here are the ones that I didn't block out completely. I'll add more as they come my way because we all know, they'll continue to come.

- "Don't go into panic mode. This doesn't mean you can't have kids. 'Cause I know so many people who started putting all this money into infertility..." I interrupted at this point and gave a very brief explanation of my knowledge of my IF.

- "At least you know you can get pregnant." Yes, Thank you. And I know I can miscarry too. Should that make me feel better, too?

- "It's probably for the best. You were so anxious!" I explained that my anxiety was due to diminishing symptoms and weak HPTs. And she only saw me anxious on the DAY I miscarried.

When will they learn that there is nothing that makes it easier. And all of their assvice doesn't help; it's actually quite upsetting. So far, the most comforting things I've heard are, "I'm sorry" and "I'm praying for you" and "I'm here for you" and variations of those sentiments.