Where's the love?

I've read posts about this, but felt it was time to do my own.

Where is the love?  Really people?  All around the blogosphere people are getting nasty.  I just don't understand it.

So many people are leaving nasty comments, but they all have some things in common:

• They are closed to replies.  Anonymous people, people with profiles but no blog or email attached, people with private profiles...all being nasty like they're getting paid to do it.


• They also seem to think that just because you blog (and don't PWP your freaking site) they should be there to spew their hate.  It's their right to do it, or so they think.


• They only kick you when you're down.  They're definitely trying to cause drama.

Really people?  What makes you think that just because someone is putting their thoughts out there that you have the right to say whatever hurtful and nasty thing you can come up with?  These aren't news sites we're talking about they're personal blogs (I say personal as in belonging to a person as opposed to belonging to a business)!  I don't know about everyone else, but my blog is a place for me to get stuff out of my head.  It's public because a) I crave the support I get from the blogosphere b) something I say or a comment I receive may help someone else some day.

Something that's really ironic about one of these heinous commenters is their thoughts on their procreation.  They state their procreation is private.  Really?  What about that blog they used to write about it on?  What about the issues they had with IF (because they did. minor IF, but IF all the same)?  This blogger actually went private because she was paranoid about who was reading her.  Now she's attacking people?  WTF?

For the record, if you want to come on my blog and try to shit on me, be my guest.  But know your comments won't get published.  Know you won't get a response, either.  You know why?  This is MY blog.  There is no democracy here.  There is no freedom of speech.  If you want to be a raving bitch, go ahead, but I will delete it.

And because it must be said...Can't we all just get along?

Ouch

"Well at least I was man enough to do it without drugs!"

This was the comment that Mr. W heard at work today as the room busted out in laughter.  One of his co-workers just found out he is having twins and apparently he's turned it into some sort of competition.  WTF?  This comment, needless to say, pissed Mr. W off.  His response?

"You need to educate yourself.  If you had any clue at all you'd know the man has nothing to do with it anyway."  The room got very quiet.

Mr. W didn't realize that retelling the story to me would bring tears to my eyes.  I reminded him of the fact that the only reason we needed drugs was because my body wasn't working properly.  There was nothing wrong with him in the first place.

Guys can be such douche bags. (I'm not upset with Mr. W...just his douche bag co-workers.)

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An older comment heard at Mr. W's job when it was announced that we were having two boys:

From the boss with only girls, "Yeah, that's just because you weren't man enough to knock the balls off of 'em!"

That one cracked me up!

Can I have a chaser of 9-healthy-months with that shot?

Background info: My cold has turned into a sinus infection and laryngitis. I unable to speak in anything above a whisper.

Funny how people feel the need to whisper to you when you whisper to them. (not funny haha)

I went to the dol.lar tree looking for HPTs. I'm not doing anything proactive this month so I figured I'd stock up for the future. I had to ask where the tests were, because I couldn't find them.

Of course I had to whisper when I asked.

Me: "Do you have any pregnancy tests?"
Girl whispers back in an almost superior tone: "Yes. Do you need one?"
Me: "Yes."
Girl: she just stood there.
Me: "Where are they?"
Her: "There over there. Behind the counter. (insert pause as she just stares at me) Are you really whispering? Or..."
Me: "I have laryngitis. I really can't talk."
Her: "OMG. I'm so sorry! People come in here and there all secretive about questions like that."
Me: "I have no problem asking! We've been trying for a while."
Her: "Oh, it hasn't happened yet? You know they have that shot..."

Seriously! The world needs a huge dose of education as far as IF is concerned!!!

Insults and events

I'm amazed how I am constantly feeling insulted right now. Even with my clinical thinking, I'm still taking things the wrong way.

• I had to have blood drawn today for my beta. That was insulting. If they had let me have a beta when I first requested one, I wouldn't have gotten so excited about a positive HPT. Now I'm having it done to verify that the pregnancy is indeed over. That's insulting.


• The cramps I had for the first few days; those were insulting.


• The fact that I'm still bleeding (I know it's only day six) is insulting.


• An innocent elderly patient asked me what Mr. W and I are waiting on to have a baby; I was insulted.

Come on! I know better on all of these! I know there is nothing truly wrong with any of these things. A few of these are medical and there is no way around them. And the elderly gentleman meant no harm! Why would he know anything about infertility?

I'm sure I'll get over this stage of my mourning, soon enough.








I start my sewing class tonight! I'm excited, but quite nervous. I used my machine for the very first time last night. My sister taught me how to thread my machine and how to sew a straight line. So at 5:00pm I will leave my job, drive to a location that I've never been to, search a campus for a building that I do not know the name of, enter a classroom full of people that I do not know, and begin an intermediate sewing class with not even a beginners knowledge. My sister was supposed to take the class with me, but now she can't. So I'm doing this alone. This is waaayyyy out of my comfort zone on so many levels, and exactly what I need right now!

I think it will be a wonderful experience for me! I'll meet new people, learn new things, and most of all, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! Hahaha! And if I actually get the hang of this, I'm going to start making my own scrubs (with matching purses...hahahahahahahaha!). I've also got a pattern for simple togas for me and Mr. W for Halloween. And my favorite is a corner-dog-bed pattern I got. My fur-baby Megan loves to curl up behind our recliner so I've decided to make her a bed to go back there. My sweet puppy! (she's been a good thing for me the past week. i don't know if i'd be feeling this "OK" if i hadn't been able to bury my face in her fur at least once a night.)

Stupid Things People Say

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me for the past few days. It has meant more than I can express to know I'm in your thoughts and prayers. It truly has helped to not be "alone" in this. Thank you. From the bottom of my broken heart, thank you.

This is a work in progress. And please, remember I'm angry and don't have anything/one to be angry with, so I may as well take it out on the unsuspecting friends/family members that just don't get it. I know it's not their fault.

Since Friday I have realized, even more so, the difference between the IF community and the non-IF world. It's amazing some of the things that people say to you that they somehow imagine to be comforting. Here are the ones that I didn't block out completely. I'll add more as they come my way because we all know, they'll continue to come.

- "Don't go into panic mode. This doesn't mean you can't have kids. 'Cause I know so many people who started putting all this money into infertility..." I interrupted at this point and gave a very brief explanation of my knowledge of my IF.

- "At least you know you can get pregnant." Yes, Thank you. And I know I can miscarry too. Should that make me feel better, too?

- "It's probably for the best. You were so anxious!" I explained that my anxiety was due to diminishing symptoms and weak HPTs. And she only saw me anxious on the DAY I miscarried.

When will they learn that there is nothing that makes it easier. And all of their assvice doesn't help; it's actually quite upsetting. So far, the most comforting things I've heard are, "I'm sorry" and "I'm praying for you" and "I'm here for you" and variations of those sentiments.