Today at church the pastor talked about "Giant Slaying". We all have our Goliath that yells and taunts us daily. It's up to us to figure out what our Goliath is and to slay it.
Here were my thoughts during the sermon:
My Giants:
I am incomplete
I am broken
I am infertile
My Feelings:
anxiety
hurt/pain
anger
My Mantra:
I will not accept that I will never have a child. I will accept that it will not be easy for me. I will find peace in God; I will put God in my heart so I will have peace in my soul. God will be with me through this. God will take me through this. Regardless of where the journey leads.
My random thought:
How can I be a woman and a wife without bearing my husband, my man, a child?
My really really random though:
I am like my childhood closet. (now that really did stem from something the pastor said about realizing how are fears are not as big as they seem, i.e. being scared of the boogeyman in the closet as a child and your parents opening the cloest door to reveal nothing more than a dirty pile of socks. if you opened my closet when i was a child you would have been lucky to survive the avalance of crap that would have come out of it.)
I'm not sure where all of this is leading. I'm fighting through depression and confusion and can only hope that this will help me. I promise to post more on this as I manage to sort it out. I just wanted to put it out there, though.
I apologize for the randomness!!!
5 comments:
Welcome to the blog world! You are a welcome addition.
Don't apologize for randomness, or anything else that you choose to write in your blog. That's the point -- to help you exorcise and sort through the jumble of thoughts in your head & heart. Then we all get to (virtually) nod our heads and hold your hand. Neat how it works that way.
I hope that AF isn't on her way. I hope she's packed her bags and is on a 9 month vacation to who-cares-where.
Thank you for stopping by my blog and for your comments. Your support means a lot to me.
Just wanted to send you some support. It's rough to feel the way you are right now and while everyone's circumstances are unique, you aren't alone out there. Take care of yourself and do something for YOU that makes you happy today.
I hope that you are able to see through the fog of IF and find clarity once again.
There are so many people who can relate to every emotional you are feeling. It helps having a support system to talk about things. Welcome, and you'll be having many people pray for you now, even when you are all prayed out.
Hello. I stumbled upon your blog today and I am so thankful! This post is exactly the things I am dealing with right now and it helps me so much to know that I'm not alone. Thank you.
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