Friday, September 28, 2007

It's not fair

I'm sorry for my lack of originality, but I'm going to copy and paste the email that I sent to a friend.

"My betas are not going as planned. 24 dpo (cd1) HCG-21...29 dpo HCG-90. It's going the wrong way. And it's too low to be good. I had to have more blood today for another quant. I have to go to the hospital Sunday and Tuesday for repeats. Then I have to have an ultrasound on Wednesday. The doc is worried that it's ectopic. Why can't it just be over. I don't get a baby...so it should be over, now. It's just not fair. i just don't know what to do. i feel so...lost, out of control, sad, angry"

For those of you who haven't read my past posts, these numbers follow my miscarriage last Friday at 5 weeks 4 days. This is becoming a hellacious roller coaster. And I want off.

And if it's ectopic...my biggest fear is damaging a tube.

I think my couch and I will become even closer this weekend than I previously believed possible.

6 comments:

Fertilize Me said...

HUG!

Delenn said...

Coming over from Farah's site. I am so sorry! It sucks to end a 2WW with even a glimmer of hope--and then have to deal with a drawn out process when you just want it to be over. I hope you have a healing weekend.

Diana said...

Hugs to you and praying it is not ectopic.

dmarie said...

I'm so sorry Amanda.

Kami said...

Oh crap. Your are right, it's not fair. I sure hope it isn't ectopic.

Geohde said...

Oh, what else can I say but that I am so sorry?

xx

How awful for you.

The only point of salvage is 'I hope your m/c is not ectopic' and that's just too twisted to me to seriously say.

A virtual hot chocolate and marshmallow coming your way,

J