Thursday, January 24, 2008

crap

While reading a blog (and enjoying the reading except for that split moment) I had a thought and a moment that made me want to cry and vomit at the same time.  It actually brought tears to my eyes. 

In 16 weeks (give or take) I will begin seeing something that, although it is beautiful and I am ecstatic for them, will hurt me beyond words.  The women due around the same time as I would have been will be giving birth.  I will not be.  I hope and pray that I will be pregnant and have seen a heartbeat by that time.

Please don't take it personally if, when this time comes, I'm not quick to comment.  Please know that I am thinking of you and so very happy for you.  I may just need time to grieve.

8 comments:

Farah said...

this makes me sad for you - but hopeful that you will see 2 lines an d a heartbeat soon

K @ ourboxofrain said...

I'll be praying for 2 lines and a heartbeat for you.

As for me, that fateful date comes in 11 weeks, and I'm really hoping this little heart is still beating then.

Caro said...

Completely understandable.

Jen said...

Yeah, I am dreading that time myself.

Diana said...

I understand completely and am so very sorry. I do hope you have your own heart beating and little person growing very soon.

topcat said...

Oh, that is just SO understandable. I hope and pray that you will be pregnant by then too, I truly do.

Thank you so much for your lovely comments, A. I think you're a beautiful person. xoxoxox

Nancy said...

That's understandable. ~hugs~

Trace said...

Yup, I tend to follow a blog until a pregnancy occurs. Then I just check in occasionally because it's too upsetting.