And he's off...

Mr. W left yesterday afternoon. I missed him before he even got onto the plane. Such is life.

Mr. W and I had such wonderful talks while he was home. I've been going through a really tough time, and him being gone has been especially hard. I talked to him about it and told him exactly how I feel right now. He was 100% supportive. He explained that he doesn't understand what I'm going though, but he's here for me. He had a couple of drinks during the conversation, so by the end he was even sweeter than usual. Ha!

He went on to tell me that regardless of how depressed/anxious/psycho I get, he will be here for me. If I hate him (because according to him all women hate men at some time), he will still be here for me. If I decide to leave, he will be waiting on me when I come home. Regardless what happens, I will not be able to "get rid" of him. Etc.

Mr. W also went on to tell me that regardless of what it takes, we will have our baby. If it comes to IVF, he will find the money even if it means going into debt (coming from a very penny-pinching man this means the world); we will have a baby. Just knowing that he is willing to go the distance for this...it makes me feel so very loved.

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Now about this on-again-off-again trip. Mr. W went into work on Friday to check with whichever boss was in to make sure it was OK that I fly out while they were working. He only found Boss B. Boss B said no way. I aggrievedly explained to Mr. W that Boss B could kiss my ass. Boss B is not the #1 boss. Boss A is, and Boss A is the one that suggested I fly out in the first place. The only problem is that Boss A already flew out.

Mr. W waited a few hours and called Boss A (damn time difference). He said he had no problem with me flying out. Thank God Boss A outranks Boss B. He said I would need a rental car, though. We can't be sure they won't be working when my plane gets in.

So now the trip is on, right? Wrong. We decide to go to Pri.celin.e to see if we can find a decent priced ticket with a rental car. We bid (fun!) and they say if we up the price a little, they can do it. So we up the price. Still no go. Up it again. Still no go. Up it again...etc. Forget it. We try some other sites and finally decide that it's just not working. We'll have to kennel the dogs, buy a plane ticket, rent a car, and pay for almost a weeks worth of eating out...too much for a slim chance at getting pregnant. (remember folks...I will probably get my LH surge the day after I fly home.)

So now the trip is off, right? Wrong. Mr. W calls from his home-for-the-next-couple-of-weeks. He's been looking at flights and has found some much cheaper tickets. He also found that there's a free shuttle from the airport to his hotel that runs every 15 -20 minutes. So he asks if I still want to come out.

At this point in time (emotional hell that is my mind) I cannot make that sort of decision. I had tried to get the trip planned and it repeatedly fell through. I had already begun to accept that there was no trip, that Mr. W and I would begin trying in January, and that two weeks wasn't that long of a time to be apart.

Mr. W actually offered to find a ticket, and if it's within reason (he's setting the limit...again, that's beyond my control right now) he'll purchase it and let me know. I would kiss him if he were here! He is not the type to make those sort of arrangements for me. He usually feels that it's up to me, and if I feel like doing it to do it, but that it's my decision. (how was that for a run on sentence?) But this time he was my hero!

So I don't know if I'm flying out to TTC this month, and I'm OK with that. If I do, then I'm going to take advantage of the new experiences (flying) and I'm going to do my best to enjoy it. If I don't, I'll take advantage of the time to complete some minor projects around the house. Either way it's out of my hands. And I'm OK with that.

I have so many other things that I want to write about, but I know I've already bored you all to tears. Maybe tomorrow!