This miscarriage is nothing like my ectopic pregnancy. The ectopic pregnancy had originally been diagnosed as an early term miscarriage. I never cramped or bled anything worse than a normal period, though. But now that I've actually had the physical experience of a definite miscarriage I know this isn't my first one.
When I was TTC with Mr. Really-Bad-Idea back in 2001 and 2002 I had what I thought was an early term loss. When my OB/Gyn office was finally able to fit me in (over a week after it occurred) they did some blood work and told me I hadn't been pregnant. Back then I could only take them at their word as I didn't know anything about HCG or anything else TTC related. I'm pretty sure they were wrong.
Everything I've read says after a miscarriage your HCG levels drop pretty quickly, so I believe the blood test was just to late to detect anything. I would have only been 5-6 weeks pregnant when the loss occurred so my levels wouldn't have been too horribly high, anyway. And the pain I felt...OMG. It's definitely similar to the pain I've had the past few days. I remember the pain waking me up in the middle of the night...Mr. Really-Bad-Idea was nice enough that he wanted to take me to the ER, but I wouldn't let him. The next day at work the pain actually dropped me to the floor at work (boy they were pissed I left early over what I then thought were period cramps). Only after I called my doctor and they suggested an early loss did I think that's what it could have been. I really wonder now why they waited over a week to get me in if they felt it was a loss. Not that they could have done anything to help, but shouldn't I have at least been checked out? Oh well.
Mr. Really-Bad-Idea's reaction (way back then...he's now Mr. Will-be-murdered-by-husband-if-ever-found-in-dark-alley) was to laugh. I don't remember how I told him what I suspected, but he laughed. I know that when I saw him over a year after we'd split up he told me his girlfriend had left him, gone back to her ex-boyfriend, then called to inform him she'd miscarried the child he never knew about. He was heartbroken about it and I felt justified in that moment (not at his loss, but at his suffering).
Yeah. So that's what that was...
2 comments:
I'm really so very sorry. I went through two of those with Misoprostol they were truly horrible experiences. I wish I'd have taken the tissue with the 2nd one in. I would have liked to have known if it were chromosomal or what. I just didn't want to deal with the whole tissue thing. I wanted to get it over with and move on. As if it were that easy.
Treat yourself well. The mental healing takes a lot longer than the physical.
I agree. You know your body more than any dr does.
(((hugs)))
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