All clear

The HSG is done.  The prelimenary report is that all is well!  :-)  Of course, that means there's no reason for us to not already be pregnant, but hopefully this will just clear the path. 

The HSG wasn't as bad as the endometrial biopsy I had a few months back.  It wasn't fun, though.  They barely had to use any of the dye because it went through easily.  It was really cool to watch (especially after the doctor deflated the balloon and it didn't hurt so badly anymore). 

The doc and the nurse were tripping out because I knew more than most patients.  They asked, "did your doctor tell you what to expect?"  My response was, "You'll thread a catheter through my cervix, inject dye, and take x-rays.  I did research."  They were taken back by the fact that I had this knowledge.  Apparently most people don't really know what goes on.  It was cool, though!  Don't get me wrong...I in no way want to go through it again.

Now I wait to see what this doctor says to my doctor (hopefully the oficial all-is-good) and what my FSH test showed.  If all is good, Mr. W and I have agreed that if it doesn't happen this month, then it'll be Clomid for the next few months. 

So the radiologist and my OB/Gyn have both informed me that this month my fertility should be improved (seriously?  my fertility?) this month.  They both told me to make sure and take advantage of it.  I assured them both that I had my fertility monitor, my OPKs, and my calender...I'm good.

And it kind of just hit me...there is no reason that I shouldn't be pregnant right now.  Yes, I have PCOS, but it hasn't seemed to affect my ovulation for the almost year that I've been using OPKs (except that one month).  Mr. W's swimmers are good boys and look and do as they're supposed to.  So what the hell is going on?

And I also felt something that I'm not used to yesterday and today.  I'm angry.  I'm mad as hell.  I shouldn't have to have tests.  I shouldn't have to pee on sticks for any reason other than to prove that I am indeed pregnant.  I should be allowed to screw my husband and get pregnant like the majority of the population.  We all should be able to.  And I'm pissed off that this is not how it's worked.  It's bullshit that drug addicts and other such indigents are able to get pregnant like it's nothing and so many of us have to work so hard for it.  People get pregnant from one night stands and I haven't been able to make a baby with the man that I love.  And I'm angry about it.  Fuck.

But the HSG appeared good and I'm trying to focus on that.  Happy thoughts...happy thoughts...happy thoughts...