Today marks 5 weeks 3 days in this journey. Almost 3 years ago I lost my first pregnancy at this time. I woke up this morning from a dream about blood and cramps. Luckily it was only a dream.
It's amazing how far I've come in 3 years. It makes me almost speechless to really think about how much I've lost and how much I have.
Tim and I are both referring to what's going on in pretty benign terms. "Things" "It" "You-know" We're both doing our best to not get too attached until we see proof-of-life. I can't say losing everything wouldn't hurt, but maybe it wouldn't hurt as much if I'm not as attached...if it's not as real?
I got a perfectly timed and super sweet card in the mail today. It said, "To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing." It reminded me to keep hoping and quit waiting for the other shoe to drop.
7 comments:
I'm keeping you guys in my thoughts. I want to see this change from a what if to reality!
After my miscarriage, with this pregnancy, I kept trying to tell myself to not have too much hope. And this was from the beginning, even before my hematoma at 6 weeks. Then I realized that not getting attached would not make it any less painful if I were to miscarry. So, I say to have Hope. Enjoy every second.
What a beautiful and perfect card!
perfect card!
here's to life :)
I totally understand where you are!! It's hard to believe it until you get real proof... it's hard to get super happy when you know how it might end... it's hard to be blissfully unaware and in a new pregnant glow when you have been through what you have been through, but obviously I am hoping for the best and hoping to see a happy healthy baby in your arms next May. :)
Oh, how I hate that any of us worry like this...it's so unfair!
Holding you and the bean close in my thoughts and prayers...
Keeping you in my prayers and sending lots and lots of sticky vibes!!!!
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