My seriously fertile IRL friend just announced to the world that she's pregnant with her third child. And she's shocked. Seriously? Apparently she wasn't using a real form of birth control, or else she wouldn't be pregnant. Her first born turns 3 in a few months. Her second born turns 1 in a few months. And now she's pregnant again.
I remember her telling me her tale of woe right before I got my first disastrous BFP. They had tried for almost a full year after she went off of BCP. And when a close family member died and she wasn't thinking about getting pregnant, it finally happened for her. But it was so tough for her to go that long trying. Come on! She had been on BCP for years. So it took her body a little while to get adjusted to being allowed to ovulate. Big flipping deal.
She told me last night that if she was (before she took a test, but she had already announced to all of myspace that she was "late and what if") she would be excited, but had hoped to start trying later in the year so they could have another summer baby. Must be freaking nice.
Right after her second was born she said that she knew she wanted a third, and wanted to start trying right away, but her husband didn't want to. Last I heard he still wanted to wait a while. I guess she decided they weren't going to wait.
I hate that I'm so bitter about this, but I am. I am so angry and bitter. And for what? Because it was so easy for her? As far as the big picture goes, it wasn't that hard for me. Yeah, it took a long time. Yeah, I had some testing. Yeah, I tried one fertility drug. Yeah, I had an ectopic. But that is nothing in the big picture. That's nothing compared to what so many have been through. But still!!!!
And if something happens and this pregnancy doesn't make it (yes, DBTs have started to work their way into my mind and the longer I go without an u/s the worse they get) then she'll have a new baby way too close to the time I would have.
AAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!! I hate this! Is this what I have become?
And I can't even post a congratulations to her. Because I'm not happy for her. This is crap.
4 comments:
Gah I'm sorry. It so sucks when it's easy for someone else.
And never ever discount what you and your husband have been through. One person's pain and experience isn't any worse than your own - it's just different. It's no less important because someone may see it as "easier" than someone else's. It wasn't any less important or any easier.
*hugs*
It's a pretty natural reaction, I've been lapped by a few friends, and it sucks.
And even though I'm p-word now, I still hate hearing pregnancy announcements.
J
i am not good at pregnancy announcements either. my friend is pregnant w/ #4 and her husband is pissed he didn't want #3 (which is 14 months old) and now he is having #4 and I am waiting for #1 ( in 17 days) to arrive safely/ Boy do i ever feel lapped and upstaged and bitter
(thanks for letting me have your password - I can now see why this was protected!!)
Don't ever forget that you are only human, it is ok to feel like this, and I am sure that you are glad that you do have someplace to vent all your emotions before you explode!!
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