Friday's appointment went beautifully! My OB walked in dragging the portable ultrasound machine behind her. I was very relieved I didn't have to ask for it. She was also very nonchalant about my week at the mental hospital. Another sigh of relief for me. She was also so wonderful about the fact that the boys were running around the exam table like the little heathens they can be. Everything was wonderful!
I think this may be part of my mental issues right now, but I've been getting a little paranoid that I haven't seen the heartbeat at either one of my ultrasounds. I did get to hear the heartbeat and see Thumper in all his/her gummy-baby glory, but I've never seen the heart flickering. I know Tim saw it at the first ultrasound and the doctor obviously saw it because she timed it at the second ultrasound. So why haven't I been able to see it? I can usually identify everything on an ultrasound, but not these. It's getting under my skin a little and I need to let that go.
My OB wanted to see me back in two weeks. She is AMAZING! I'm pretty sure she's trying to keep me reassured to keep the anxiety at bay. Unfortunately the anxiety has very little to do with my worries and fears about this pregnancy. Of course I am worrying about the pregnancy a little, but no more so than is normal I think. I actually declined the two week visit because I have one already scheduled in three weeks. I'll also have my NT scan that morning. I'm sure if I'm getting overly freaked out before then, she'd fit me in.
I just realized Tim is going out of town for two whole weeks soon. I knew he was going out of town, but I didn't realize it was for two weeks. Ummmm.... Luckily his brother (the least troubled of the two) is going to come stay. The boys love him and he's willing to change diapers and cook simple meals. I'm very grateful for this, but it's going to be a little weird. Luckily he's stayed with us before so it shouldn't be too weird.
Oh yeah, I haven't changed a diaper since some time before my first OB appointment. The smell of urine almost makes me vomit...even my own. And I can't even be around a stinky diaper. It's been interesting to say the least. I'm so very grateful for Tim. He's been super supportive through all of this and hasn't complained once about how little I've been able to do.
I'm also so very grateful for all of you that have been so supportive. It's meant so much to me. It's amazing how good it can feel to know that I have friends out there that don't judge me and are there for me. Thank you.
12 comments:
I was SO happy to see a happy face for your title...that is good. The smell aversions are the worst b/c there is nothing you can usually do to avoid the smell that makes you want to run into a busy street and get hit by a car. Is that too dramatic? I think not! Hang in there...glad you have family to help you out too!
I'm not very good at being comforting but I want you to know that I'm here reading and thinking good thoughts in your direction.
Also, hooray for good doctors! I'm so glad you seem to be feeling better, and I hope you only feel even better.
As someone somewhat familiar with what you're going through, I wanted to tell you that I too was overwhelmed by trying to care for my twin toddlers while being sick and freaked out about taking care of them and a new baby, too. But I made it through the sickness, and I am making it through the new baby stage, too. I am happy to report that it's not nearly as hard as I expected it to be. You will be great at it!
Glad your doctor visit went well. Still thinking about you and sending hugs your way.
The NT scan will make you feel better when you can see everything including that pumping heart in all of it's glory. :)
Oh I'm so glad your appointment went well. Such good news to know that Thumper is doing well. It sounds like you've got a good doctor and that makes me happy.
Big hugs to you!
I'm glad the appointment went well. I've been thinking about you and missing your tweets!
Good news on Thumper there. Glad to see you are feeling the love! :-) Hang in there!
So glad that this appointment went well! I was stopping by from LFCA to offer support, and how I get to read your good news! One ... day ... at ... a ... time ... that's all you can do. *hug*
Glad to hear things went well at the appointment!
Horray for a fabulous appointment! I wish I lived closer, I'd be more than happy to help out!!!
Glad the appointment went well.
Um, oh my gosh. Amanda, I somehow had lost the link to your new blog and had to track you down tonight (after seeing your post on FB). I can't believe all that I have missed. I am so sorry for everything you've been going through. I wish I lived close enough to help.
The thing is. . . I was anxious my whole pregnancy (not like you are, but very anxious) about how I'd handle multiple children. I will tell you that I have found managing a newborn and a toddler is MUCH easier than being pregnant and managing a toddler. Physically, you are just up for so much more.
Now granted, I only have one toddler, but right there is my point - you SMOKED having twins, something I can't even begin to imagine! YOU CAN DO THIS, I KNOW YOU CAN!!!! If I can, you so can.
And I am glad to be back on board with your story. Many hugs.
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