Thursday, March 25, 2010

Exhale

Today I would be 19 weeks pregnant, if I hadn't miscarried.  But I'm honestly OK, now.

I just realized that pregnancy announcements don't feel like a knife through my heart.  I was able to read of a bloggy-buddy getting to see her little one's heartbeat, and I felt pure joy for her!  There was no jealousy or envy or any other negative emotion, just happiness for her and her husband.  I'm also no longer envious of the people that are due around when I was due.

I am completely happy with what I have and want nothing more*! :-)
*I reserve the right to change my mind on this matter. Of course I am only human.

12 comments:

HereWeGoAJen said...

Good, I am glad you are feeling a little peace.

Jennifer said...

I'm glad things are going better.

Meghan said...

I'm glad you are in a good place and I didn't cause you any pain. I know that until a few weeks ago every surprise announcement was like salt on a cut for me. You're a better person than I :)

Caro said...

Glad to hear that you're in a better place.

Amanda said...

It made me sooo happy to read your post! And no, I'm not a better person that you are. We're just in different places!

I actually just got off the phone with my husband and he asked me when I wanted to start trying again (he's been in another state since Feb 28 for the military) and I told him to ask me again when I hadn't been left alone with two toddlers for six weeks. That's the place I'm in right now. :-)

Megan said...

I know the feelings of resentment and jealousy and wistfulness and grief (among many other less-than-fun emotions) that come with other people's good news after a loss, and I know how I hated having those feelings. I'm happy to know you've found some peace.

JJ said...

So glad to hear you are feeling better, sweetie.

geohde said...

Hon,

You know I'm thinking of you. I may be different, but for ME, I wasn't okay until I could live without the alternate reality anniversaries.

Wait, I still do that sometimes,

Much love,

g

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

I'm so glad you're feeling better. ((hugs))

Suzy said...

So glad you are feeling some peace.

Sending you big hugs!
xoxo

Miss K (Kate) said...

I'm so glad you feel that way and you should absolutely reserve the right to change your mind :)

Rebecca said...

Love the disclaimer...you can always reserve the right to change your mind, but it's nice to get to this place too.