:-)

You guys are so amazing! Reading your wonderful and supportive and loving comments on my last two posts brought tears to my eyes. I don't have much of a support system IRL, so you mean a lot to me. I love you guys!

To update:

Things are much better with me and Mr. W. I've talked to him a few times about the possible crush. He's convinced me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he doesn't even find her attractive. I explained to him that this is probably just my insecurities coming to the surface and it will take me a while to get over this. He understood and is being super supportive of me.

You guys are right, though. If he thought she was hot, that wouldn't bother me. I've actually pointed out women to my husband if they're that attractive (funny thing is how different our "tastes" are...if I were a guy we'd never have competed for the same woman). If he actually had a crush on her...that would have been more of an emotional thing and it would have bothered me. Being flattered by someone who gives him attention wouldn't bother me either. I understand how it feels to have someone make you feel good about yourself. Funny story: Right after we found out I was pregnant the first time Mr. W went to the store. Some attractive young thing hit on him and tried to give him her number. Of course he didn't take the number, but he was so flattered. He came home damn near gushing about it. You know why it flattered him? She couldn't have been older than 19 so it made him feel "young"! Hahahaha (he was 27 at the time I think)!

As far as the postpartum depression goes, it's gotten better. Just realizing what the problem is helped. Changing the boys to a two hour eating schedule helped (Trip is a much happier baby and is eating almost twice as much as he was, now). Quitting the evil Zoloft helped (the anxiety is all but gone again). Mr. W stepping it up has helped. I'm beginning Prozac tomorrow, so we'll see if that helps. I'm trying to get back to walking at least a mile every day; I know that helps. Day by day it's getting better.

I need to work on my self esteem and body image, now. The walking is a step in the right direction (seriously, no pun intended). I need to work on our diet, though. I'd like to go back to Weight Watchers, but until I can commit myself to three definite meals a day, there's no point. Maybe in a couple of months. Right now I'm focusing on eating less when I eat and trying to add some healthier things in. I'm also working on increasing my sex life. That may not sound like it has anything to do with self esteem or body image, but it does. The more I allow Mr. W to touch me, the more I'm going to believe he really wants to (boy that sounds effed up). As it stands I feel repulsive therefor it's hard to believe he's attracted to me. Plus, the natural endorphins from sex are great for my moods! ;-)

Anyway. I appreciate all of the support and advice. It really helped me figure out if I wanted to stew over the "crush" or confront. It's also made me feel loved which is a really great feeling. :-) Thank you.