13dpo & it's a BFN. I know it technically is still early to call the game, but I'm doing it anyway. Even if I were to get a positive after today, I wouldn't have any faith in that pregnancy. My first pregnancy didn't show up until at least 15dpo, but it failed before it even got truly started.
But it's no big deal, at least that's what I keep telling myself. It's only the second month we've actually tried since our last loss. This is nothing in the grand scheme of things. This doesn't prove any secondary infertility. This is normal. That's what I keep telling myself.
In reality I'm hurting. I was convinced I was pregnant. I wanted to be pregnant. This was my last chance to get pregnant before my EDD with my nugget. I didn't want to sit through that day without knowing hope was growing inside me. But now I don't have a choice.
Maybe I wouldn't be so upset today if I hadn't had dreams the past few days of getting a BFP. It's always a shock to wake up from such realistic happy dreams. You wake up not realizing it was only a dream at first, then it hits you it was. And reality is great, but not quite a good as the dream was.
Last nights dream contained a BFP and my Dad's dog. It was amazing! I called my parents to give them a boat load of good news. I couldn't remember what a few things I had wanted to tell them were, but I remembered to tell them that I was pregnant and that I'd found their dog. I was confused why they hadn't told me he was missing, but he showed up at the end of my driveway (which was actually at my childhood house in the dream). I was going to feed him good food to get him healthy then have my neighbor groom him before we saw them again. It was such a happy dream! In reality my Dad's beloved dog drowned in the pond behind my sister's house while my parents were at the hospital waiting on the arrival of the boys. And I'm not pregnant.
It really is no big deal, but just for today, maybe it is for me.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Well that's not so bad
I took Jack to his pediatric ophthalmologist appointment Friday. It went really smooth! We were there for a few hours, but thanks to some of you ladies and my optometrist, I was expecting it.
And the verdict is? The kid is in desperate need of glasses! There is no noticeable muscle weakness, but there is very noticeable farsightedness. The exact words of the doctor were, "He's severely farsighted with a distinct difference between the two eyes." After googling his prescription I'm going to add he has an astigmatism in his left eye as well (R +7.50 SPHERE / L +8.00 +0.75 X 090). He was crossing his eye trying to focus.
With further reading I learned this is very common in children this age as their eyes haven't matured. As they grow things are supposed to fit better (the components of the eyes) and therefor focus better.
I ordered his glasses that afternoon and will hopefully have them later this week (due date is 07/29 at the latest). The doctor explained Jack will have to adjust to having them on, but as bad as his eyes are that may happen within a week. After he adjusts he probably won't want to take them off even for bath time.
We go back in 2 months for a check to see how things are going. Hopefully it won't be too long before the prescription can be changed to something not quite so strong. If, after a good time in the glasses, we still notice his eye crossing then we may have to add some time with an eye patch to help strengthen the weak eye.
OMG it was so fun taking the boys to try on glasses! Jack loved me putting the frames on him. It was so cute!!! Trip began to melt down when he realized he wasn't getting a turn in the frames, so I tried a pair on him. I only wish the picture I took could convey the look he gave me when I did. He didn't try to take them off or anything; he just looked at me like "I am the cutest thing you have ever seen. You know it. Admit it!" (that kid is so full of himself. no clue why. it's not like we tell him he's one of the cutest babies in the world or anything...heeheehee.)
And because I can't talk about little guys in glasses without sharing pics, here you go:
And the verdict is? The kid is in desperate need of glasses! There is no noticeable muscle weakness, but there is very noticeable farsightedness. The exact words of the doctor were, "He's severely farsighted with a distinct difference between the two eyes." After googling his prescription I'm going to add he has an astigmatism in his left eye as well (R +7.50 SPHERE / L +8.00 +0.75 X 090). He was crossing his eye trying to focus.
With further reading I learned this is very common in children this age as their eyes haven't matured. As they grow things are supposed to fit better (the components of the eyes) and therefor focus better.
I ordered his glasses that afternoon and will hopefully have them later this week (due date is 07/29 at the latest). The doctor explained Jack will have to adjust to having them on, but as bad as his eyes are that may happen within a week. After he adjusts he probably won't want to take them off even for bath time.
We go back in 2 months for a check to see how things are going. Hopefully it won't be too long before the prescription can be changed to something not quite so strong. If, after a good time in the glasses, we still notice his eye crossing then we may have to add some time with an eye patch to help strengthen the weak eye.
OMG it was so fun taking the boys to try on glasses! Jack loved me putting the frames on him. It was so cute!!! Trip began to melt down when he realized he wasn't getting a turn in the frames, so I tried a pair on him. I only wish the picture I took could convey the look he gave me when I did. He didn't try to take them off or anything; he just looked at me like "I am the cutest thing you have ever seen. You know it. Admit it!" (that kid is so full of himself. no clue why. it's not like we tell him he's one of the cutest babies in the world or anything...heeheehee.)
And because I can't talk about little guys in glasses without sharing pics, here you go:
My future's so bright
These are the frames I'm getting! Only add thick lenses...
ADMIT IT! I am THAT cute! You know you think so! ;-)
As a side note, that is the same frames in each picture. It amazes me how different they look on the boys (to me at least). They look so much bigger on Trip's little noggin!
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