4 weeks later and every minute I'm alone the grief swallows me. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to walk through jello, the grief is that solid.
But I'm not the same person when I'm with people, or even when I'm tweeting. It's like another living human grounds me.
I finally admitted to Tim last night that I'm emotionally not in a good place right now. He's the only one I can say it to. I've had a really great friemd calling to check in on me, but I always say I'm doing fine...and at that moment it's 100% the truth.
Oh how I just wish I could get past this heart wrenching part and move on to the less painful feelings. I want to enjoy my quiet time again.
The baby was an XXY boy. The egg was fertilized with a X sperm & a Y sperm. In a world where only one sperm fertilized it, it could have been a normal girl.
****I am sooo sorry this published almost 15 times. I tried to post through my phone. Grrrr...stupid technology!***
9 comments:
I know sorry doesn't fix anything, but I truly am. I wish things were so very different for you right now. I wish I could give you a hug. xo
Sweetie, I'm so sorry you are going though such dark times. I wish I was there to give you a great big hug. I know that wouldn't solve anything.
Please know you can email me anytime when you want to be "real." So glad Tim is there to listen. Just keep talking.
Lots of love to you!
xoxoxo
I wish I had words to help you...or something more than online hugs. Just know that there is no timeline on grief and whatever you feel is what you feel. Glad your hubby is there for you.
Keeping you in my thoughts
I'm sorry. I've been there and it really hurts.
I am sending you lots of virtual hugs. I know they are not the best, but I hope they help just the smallest bit. We are certainly thinking of you and your family.
I am so sorry for the whole situation.
I am so sorry for your loss and for your pain. Hugs to you, especially in those quiet moments of your day.
Amanda, I am so sorry. I hate not being able to say more, but I also know there isn't much that I can say that will bring comfort. Just know that I am thinking of you.
So sorry, hugs.
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